We had a lot of rain for a couple weeks, but it's been sunny and cool since Saturday. The full moon was able to shine in all her silvery glory on Halloween and All Souls' Day. I feel totally lucky to live here.
Sophie is doing well. Sanura, the gray female kitty is still not sure about her, and will hiss if Sophie bugs her. Tiger, the yellow male cat, is more tolerant and will play with her. One of the funniest things was watching Tiger pounce on Sophie's leash as she ran to the door to be taken out. I am so glad I have my pets.
Father/Mother God, thank you for all the beauty and fun that surrounds us. Please help us to see it even (especially?) in the dark times.
- Location:Somewhere Special
- Mood:
cheerful
What a perfect Saturday morning. I have a big pot of coffee and only one pressing thing to go do. (Post office to mail a package with a sale item!!) It's cool and drizzly outside, and I'm not working. A small piece of heaven here at home.
The infamous Dodge Durango which lost a wheel on the way to my daughter's house this summer is once again in the shop. I had finally decided to have the missing part put on, when I had 2 episodes of brakelessness while on a busy street here in Clinton. Fortunately there were no cars in front of me...So I took it in to a shop that I was assured was reputable, and it probably is. Of course, the brakes have worked perfectly for them... And he told me there was already a speed sensor in place in the antilock braking system in the right front wheel, but that it was all bent up and twisted. I reminded him that it was most likely because that was the wheel that fell off! (Oh, yeah...) Oh well. Hopefully it will be well soon. And the good news is that it's not my only car.
And my son asked me to help him learn to use the washing machine!! He's washing his clothes as we speak. What a surprise! I wonder what's wrong with him.
Trying to plan my next trip to Texas to see my mother, sister, and daughter along with some other friends. Last year I went between Christmas and New Year. I'm considering the week of Thanksgiving this week, but I don't know if I'll get to. Lots of other people have asked for time off around Thanksgiving. I took the week after Christmas last year because everyone else had already signed up for time off before Christmas. I guess I'll see what happens, and I'll talk to my family about it.
Ladies, take your calcium. One of my good friends here who is in her 40's had a muscle cramp in bed last week and flexed her foot with the cramp. She got a stress fracture in her foot and is in a cast now and not allowed to put weight on it. Which means she can't work, because she has to be quite active in our job.
I've been thinking about changing the name of my journal. When I chose this name, I was working in the school district and the students called me Mrs. Roberts. I plan to keep Roberts as my last name, but I'm thinking of changing the name of the journal to something that doesn't reflect a marital status or last name. Who knows, it may change some day! Suggestions?
I relisted this angel today in my Etsy shop.
May she find a new home soon.Father/Mother God, thank you for friends, family, and blessings. You have given me so much, especially when I needed it.
Blessings and Peace,
Jill
- Location:Home Sweet Home
- Mood: cheerful
I relisted this great mug on my Etsy shop. Perfect for that cup of coffee or tea when you're working out the details of your manuscript. And it would make a great gift for the writer in your life.
- Location:Home Sweet Home
- Mood: cheerful
Number 2, and something for me to think about. It is the anniversary of the day I found letters between my ex husband and a woman in Germany describing their love, and him saying that he never really loved me. Yesterday, besides being the 8th anniversary of 9-11, was the anniversary of the last day I thought my husband loved me. I had a few moments of tears in the morning, and then pulled myself together , determined to have a good day.
And I did. I enjoyed the things about my job that I enjoyed, and didn't think badly about the things I enjoyed less. I went to 'Girl's Night Out' with my 2 friends, as we do fairly regularly. And I made plans to spend time with the man I'm dating for tonight.
I woke up this morning grateful for my family. One daughter texted me while I was at work yesterday, missed that text until 7:30 pm or so--saying that she knew I'd enjoy hearing how much she loved me and how important I was in her life. I gave thanks for my friends, both online friends, many of whom I've ever met, and my friends that I have met and known for a long time. I gave thanks for my home, my job, and pets. Also for being able to do many of the things I love. And some of my newer friends have said how much they treasure my friendship. I wouldn't have met them if it hadn't been for the divorce last year.
Today, I discovered that the woman from Gemany had been here in Ms. most of the month of August, presumable to visit my ex. She led me to find out by visiting my LJ, which has a tracker on it. So I visited her site in return. I guess it made her feel good to let me know she still had him.
As trying as parts of this last year have been, I've come out pretty well. I know that life brings trial and troubles, but there is a lot of beauty around us and God will always take care of me.
- Location:at home with coffee
Hence the extra work on weekends.
Goodnight all.
- Mood:
exhausted
Some of you may know that I am on vacation now, visiting my daughter,
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jmeadows . The first stop was to be in Tennesse, where I would visit some friends and spend Sunday night. Unfortunately, the front, passenger side wheel fell off my car, a 2000 Dodge Durango. The good news was that even though the problems probably started hundreds of miles away from my friends' house, the wheel didn't actually fall off until I was about 7 miles away. One of my friends gave me a phone number for a tow truck and repair shop, and that's where my car is still. They thought they'd have it fixed by Monday night. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case, and I ended up spending another day there, and, yes, I did have a good time. Unfortunately, the parts needed for the repair were still not available, so it looked like I wouldn't get to leave Tenn. and visit my daughter. One of my friends offered me the use of her car...I was very reluctant to borrow it, and started feeling a bit sorry for myself.I got into the shower when my "mind" began talking to me. I'm pretty sure it was really a being I refer to as God. The conversation went something like this.
God- Well, Jill, you've been doing a little better about seeing my influence in your life, but you're still not totally relying on me, and you don't seem to realize that I am the one in charge, not you.
Me- You know I really prepared for this trip, I took care of that car and tried to make sure that it was running well. I guess I should have taken the other car.
God- It would have happened anyway. This is part of your journey. You have to learn to depend on me more and less on yourself and your own abilities.
Me- But I don't like having to depend on my friends for things.
God- Where do you think you got them?
Me- Oh. Well, I can see that,
God- Did I not deliver you within 7 mlles to your destination? You didn't run into anyone, and neither you nor your son was hurt. Haven't I always brought you through times of trouble safely?
Me- well, that's true.
God- Did I not give you a nice place to stay, and you know you had a great time here Monday.
Me- Well, yes. And it wouldn't have happened like that if there hadn't been car trouble.
God- And you're being offered the use of another car. You'll still get to go see your daughter.
Me- Yes, I see your point. I just don't feel comfortable borrowing their car.
God- Yes, I know that. But I have provided it for you to use. And remember, I AM the one in charge.
Me- Okay. I get it. Can this be the end of this lesson now?
God- Maybe. We'll see how well you've learned. And you have to tell your friend. Telling it will be good for you, and she needs to hear this too.
Me- Okay. I will.
I wonder why God picks places like the shower, or on the toilet to talk to me. Is it because there's no place I can hide or nothing to distract me? I was able to see God working through the divorce and the move, and I was thankful, even though I was sad. I hope that nothing else unpleasant is on it's way to me soon. And since the car is still not fixed, I am still in this lesson.
Father/Mother God, thank You for Your wisdom and making sure I listen. Please grant me safety on my journey home.
Blessings and Peace,
Jill
- Location:somewhere special
- Mood:
contemplative
Tonight I decided to go mow the grass, something I have to do about twice a week to keep the really tall, spindly grasses that my lawn mower won't cut down. When I was done, I dragged the hose around (yes, friends, I now have outside water and a realy hose with which to water my plants.) As my thirsty plants gratefully lapped up the water from the hose, my neighbor, a man of about 40 came home. We waved and he came into my yard and we started talking.
I learned again that you never know what other people are going through, or have gone through. He told me his story of love and life, the death of his one true love and how he wonders if that hole can ever be filled. He told me about his dark days, sadness, and anger, and how last week he'd finally had enough of having to take a gun with him to work in a bad section of town in order to protect himself and he said, "Okay, God, I give up!" Two minutes later his phone rang and it was a good friend and former boss calling to ask him to come work for him in a less dangerous section of town. He started that job yesterday. He said he learned that a lot of people had been praying for him about his work situation and his happiness. He had no idea that there were so many people in his corner.
I guess God does wait for us to 'give up' on our own ways, our own thoughts of how things should be, before answering prayers and showing us the way. Even though we don't understand (and yes, there's plenty I still don't understand) if we have patience and faith, we will often be told the answers.
Father/Mother God, thank You for sharing your truths through a new friend whom I wouldn't have met if bad things hadn't happened in my life.
Blessings and Peace,
Jill
- Location:Somewhere Special
- Mood: peaceful
Hi everyone. Yes today was definitely Monday!! We were 2 people short at work, although we did have one prn staff come in for several hours today to help. And in spite of that, it went okay. I left early to take my son to the doctor as he had a recurrence of his ingrown toenail. we were there 4 hours. I did take stuff to crochet, so at least I had something to do. Meanwhile said son tells me he wants to start dressing EMO and have an EMO hair style, possibly dying his hair black. :(
After they were done working on his toe, we went to Sonic for a hamburger--he had a chili dog-- and I also wanted one of the mocha chillers. The hamburger was delivered sideways, so all the stuff went to one side. Never mine, I slid it back in place, determined to enjoy one of the few Sonic Burgers I've had in Mississippi. One bite revealed a stale bun, but hey, I was determined to be positive about this. Very soon after, I realized that the burger had mustard--I had requested Maynaise, but hey, a little mustard won't kill me. And the java mocha chiller was great. I finshed my burger and drove home. After parking and gathering my things, I reached down to get the delightful mocha chiller....and the top came off and the entire contents spilled on the floor of my car, which I'd had cleaned--detailed- on Friday! :(
The good news was that I had my shop vac here at home and was able to clean the floor of the car just fine, but still....This day had potential, and it ended up on the bottom of my shop vac!!
Oh well. hopefully it made a good story.
Relisted these in my shop!
Father/Mother God, thank you for giving us a sense of humor with which to view ourselves.
Blessings and Peace,
Jill
- Mood:
tired
Memorial Day weekend is upon us!!! Several of our friends are at a writing conference and I wish them the best. Lots of people have big plans with family and friends. I plan to continue moving things into my new shed.
I finally got the floor painted and sealed and Uh Oh...the floor got really slippery!! I sure wasn't expecting that. The directions on the water sealer state that you can paint oil base paint over the sealer after it's been dry for 30 days. No way did I want to wait that long!!! So I looked around at what I could put over the floor and finally settled on indoor/outdoor carpeting. Since it's low pile and can be swept with a broom and I suppose my shop vac, should I want to, I decided to go with it. It was inexpensive enough that I can replace it if needed. Anyway, I'll put if down tomorrow and move some more things into my shed. I hope to be back to ceramics in a couple weeks!!!
There has been a lot of things going on at work. One of my coworkers' mother was in a serious auto accident in March and, several surgeries later, is recovering from that. This same friend's cousin has a 2 1/2 year old little boy who shot himself in the head with a gun he found belonging to another relative. He's had a lot of problems, surgeries, but good news!!! He got up and took a few steps today for the first time!!!
Another coworker lost almost everything in a house fire. Still 2 other coworkers's husbands have had surgeries that had the potential to be quite serious including post op infections.
I feel very lucky right now to have my problems behind me.
I am aware of a particular individual checking this blog and my Hidden Ridge Road site. I don't know what she expects to find, but in case she looks again, I'm very disappointed in what has happened, and I wonder what will happen with her and her family, as well as to my ex-husband. But I am fine. I will always be fine and I will keep going. Life will bring me new blessings and new dreams will come true. And while I give her part of the blame, I know that most of the blame lies with my ex-husband.
New earrings and necklace in my Etsy shop.
I'm having a sale in my shop for LJ friends! Check out my shop and convo me, Be sure to remind me of your LJ name if it's different than your Etsy name. I'll mark it down 15% and reserve it for you! Sale is good through midnight, Monday night.
Father/Mother God, thank You for friends and help them all throught their times of needs. Thank You for the good things coming my way and help me through any difficult times ahead.
Blessings and Peace,
Jill
- Location:Somewhere special
- Mood: grateful
This actually happened on Thursday, but I haven't had time to post about it until today.
I have been arranging a container garden on the street side of my mobile home on some rickety steps the MH moving company tried to leave me with instead of my own wonderful ones, which my ex did bring over to me after a day or two. Well the moving company never did come to retrieve these steps, so I decided to put them to use.
Many of my plants have come with me from Texas, and yes, they have sentimental value to me. They are part of my family and I moved as many of them here with me in October as I could. One of these older plants is from the palm family. I've had it since 2003 and it has been in the original pot since then. (Yes, I was a bad plant mother.) I decided to repot it this year and proceded to attempt to dig it out of the cheap plastic pot it came from the flower shop itn. I shook out all the dirt in the new pot, dug inside with a spoon, pulled gently on the plant trying to dislodge it. This particular plant has barbs, especially down near the roots, making it very difficult to pull. I continued, not understaning why it was so difficult to dislodge this plant from a pot that was clearly too small. Didn't this plant understand how much happier it would be in a bigger pot. I showed the plant the new pot and tried to persuade it to jump out, but it just stuck me again. Desperate, I grabbed an old scissors and began cutting the pot.
I didn't realize the pot had 2 layers of plastic, so I cut them both and tried again to pull the plant out. It should have been easier since there was more room. But no, the plant clung tightly to its home. I continued to cut and saw that the roots had grown through the bottom layer of the plastic and there was a thick layer of root between the 2 layers of plastic on the bottom. No wonder it wouldn't come out. I tried to move the roots, but ended up having to cut them so I could finally remove the plant from the confining pot. It stuck me again.
I finally got it planted in its new pot and gave it water. It seems happy now and my hands have healed. It occurred to me that I was like that plant, resisting change, unable to see how leaving a pot that no longer fit could be a good thing. And my roots had to be painfully cut before I could be removed from my pot. I haven't fully explored my new pot, but I can see that it is possible that some good will come from this move.
I've still got a ways to go on this garden, and I got some great ideas from visiting my sister, but it will take a while to get it all going.
New listing on Etsy. For the writers.
Father/Mother God, thank you for the lessons we can learn from your creations.
Blessings and Peace,
Jill
- Mood: happy
Today it was back to work. I have a student now, so that will make things more interesting. I love having students.
Father/ Mother God, thank you for friends and family, especially for mothers.
Blessings and Peace
Jill
- Mood: grateful
This brings a lot of mixed feelings. One is relief that this long chapter in my life will soon be over. While I've been doing my best to get on with my life, the fact that the divorce has not been final has always been there. I'm not really married, but not really all the way unmarried.
On the other hand, there is sadness, the loss of my dream of growing more in love with the man I loved, retiring in 5 or 6 years on family land and occupying myself with ceramics and pottery and getting back into writing. Now is the time to make new dreams. I don't really have any new ones yet. I get to decide what I want to do, how I hope life will be. It's kind of exciting, but it seems funny to be doing it at this stage in my life.
I have finally gotten a shed built and am in the process of making it ready to work on my ceramics and pottery. There is stil a lot of work to do before it's ready. I've got 2 coats of paint on the floor and will seal it soon. Then I'll build shelves and move the kiln in. This makes me feel like I'm able to be what I am again.
I know it's dark...
Also, a new set of earrings and a necklace to match on my Etsy shop.
Father/Mother God, I ask that You be with me during this time. I thank You for the good in my life, and I do see that there is a lot of it. Help me to recognize the good You bring my way each day. And if the lessons You've helped me with can be of use to someone else, please help me to know the time.
Blessings and Peace,
Jill
- Mood: content
Well, so much for my hopes to post more often. A lot has been happening lately. Most of it has been good!!
When I last posted, I had just met a man on the internet. We were friendly, and I enjoyed talking to him on the phone and online. A few days later I met him in person. My first impression was that I had really enjoyed him on the phone, but I wasn't sure what to think of him sitting across the table, and I felt really shy about the whole thing. I decided to go with how much I'd enjoyed talking to him, On Feb. 21 he took me to a ball! He is a Shriner, and they had a formal ball honoring the state "president." They had another name for it, but I've forgotten. We danced a lot, and he is a good dancer. I hadn't danced in 20 years, as my soon to be ex didn't care to dance. I've seen him pretty regularly since then, and have really enjoyed getting to know him. He's very different from most of the men I've dated.
I've been working hard, sometimes on Saturdays, but I feel so close to my coworkers. One of them went shopping with me for a dress for the ball and brought things to my dressing room while I just tried things on. I haven't done that in YEARS. One of my coworkers is having triplets, one's wife just had a little boy. One of them is building a new house. Lots of good things going on with them.
My son is going through confirmation classes at church and will be confirmed Sunday, assuming he decides to do it. And I think he will. He has grown and blossomed into such a fun person...yes, he's still a moody 14 year old boy, but lots more fun more of the time. Our relationship is improving, and I was really concerned about just he and I living together.
Along with church is my growing friendship with many of the members. What a gift this has been. I've joined a crochet group that makes prayer shawls to give to people who have had a loss. It's a wonderful ministry, and great fun to hang out with a bunch of women who are learning new things and having fun.
I'm hoping to get my shed built within the next few months so I can get back to ceramics and pottery, but this is taking some time. I've been experimenting with some different things. Here is one of them.
I might even start writing again....My poor book surely thinks I've forgotten it. I really haven't.
And I have planned a time to go visit
jmeadows this summer!!!Thank you all so much for your friendship. It's meant a lot to me, even though I'm not here as much as I should be. I hope I'l do better.
Father/Mother God, thank You so much for transforming a negative part of my life into something positive, and for letting me know that you are here with me.
Blessings and Peace,
Jill
- Location:Somewhere Special
- Mood: grateful
More later.
Blessings and Peace,
Jill
- Mood: contemplative
You are The Lovers
Motive, power, and action, arising from Inspiration and Impulse.
The Lovers represents intuition and inspiration. Very often a choice needs to be made.
Originally, this card was called just LOVE. And that's actually more apt than "Lovers." Love follows in this sequence of growth and maturity. And, coming after the Emperor, who is about control, it is a radical change in perspective. LOVE is a force that makes you choose and decide for reasons you often can't understand; it makes you surrender control to a higher power. And that is what this card is all about. Finding something or someone who is so much a part of yourself, so perfectly attuned to you and you to them, that you cannot, dare not resist. This card indicates that the you have or will come across a person, career, challenge or thing that you will fall in love with. You will know instinctively that you must have this, even if it means diverging from your chosen path. No matter the difficulties, without it you will never be complete.
What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.
Fortunately my soon to be ex did not attend the same class I am attending. That would have surely pushed me over the brink of what little control I had when it was my turn to talk about my divorce.
I really didn't need this. I already know I'm not supposed to poison my son's mind against his father. It's not necessary anyway. Ex has already done it himself. Most of the time I'm okay with the life that I have now--the closer friendships I have with my coworkers, my new friends at church, who are really very loving and supportive. Most of the time I can look toward a future that contains happiness. It's just bad if I have to explain to anyone what happened. And my son is different from the other kids there. He says he hasn't liked his father for over a year and is happier to be away from him.
It seems that I was the only one who thought we should stay together.
I have to go back next Thursday. My son doesn't have to go. Next week I will sit in the back and hide. And then get back to the business of rebuilding my life.
Father/Mother God, thank you for the blessings of my friends at work, in the community, and at church. Thank You for the love of family you have given me, and the possibilities for the future.
Blessings and Peace,
Jill
- Mood: sad
- Music:Who Knew?
I know some of you don't celebrate Christmas, so please feel free to insert the holiday of your choice. This time of the year is about giving in many cultures. During the year, we work hard and as the year comes to an end, we celebrate our good fortunes by enjoying what we have and giving to others. Many of us will take the time to smile at a stranger and wish them Merry Christmas, and are rewarded by smiles and good wishes back to us.
This year has been quite eventful for me, and I'm hoping for peace next year.
Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Happy New Year to you all.
Father/Mother God, thank you for my friends and the beginning of a new life for my son and me.
Blessings and Peace,
Jill
- Mood: peaceful
I'm not very good at it. Which is strange, because I'm normally very good at word games. I don't understand.
Must keep practicing.
- Mood: surprised
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